Authenticity to the Glory of God

In this conversation, Garrett and Tyler discuss the importance of authenticity and being true to oneself. They emphasize that everyone is unique and has different gifts and talents, and it is important to embrace and excel in those areas. They share personal stories and examples to illustrate the challenges of wearing a mask and pretending to be someone we're not. They highlight the freedom and joy that comes from being authentic and honoring the way God made us. They encourage listeners to seek understanding of their true selves and to be transparent and genuine in their interactions with others.

Takeaways

Everyone is unique and has different gifts and talents.
It is important to embrace and excel in the areas where we are uniquely gifted.
Wearing a mask and pretending to be someone we're not is exhausting and inauthentic.
Being authentic and true to ourselves brings freedom and joy.
Honoring the way God made us is a way to honor and please Him.
Seek understanding of your true self and be transparent and genuine in your interactions with others.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction
02:58 Embracing Your Uniqueness and Excelling in Your Gifts
07:03 The Challenges of Wearing a Mask and Pretending to Be Someone You're Not
10:53 The Freedom and Joy of Being Authentic
21:19 Seeking Understanding of Your True Self
28:07 Conclusion

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Transcript

0:02

You may not want a cold call and that's okay. You may not want to door knock a neighborhood and that's okay. You may not want to live on social media and that's okay too. We are all unique. We should all have different scoreboards and paths to achieve them because we were all made for different purposes. Seek to understand what you were made for, no more, no less. Then become excellent at exactly that. That's your responsibility. Steward the gifts that God gave you. Welcome back, faithful agents. We are glad that you're here. We're going to be talking about authenticity today because I had a recent conversation about it and I thought would be interesting for us to unpack tea. I don't know. We'll see if it's interesting. We'll see if you're interested. I wonder if even if I can get you to be interested. I know I've done a good job, but I haven't yet. So that's. how I make you feel. That I'm always disinterested. Yeah. Okay. That's how I - man, I'm a bad friend. I am a bad friend. I - actually an excellent friend. It's me, man. I'm the bad friend. So we're glad that you're here, Faithful Agents. If the show has been encouraging to you, as clearly it's encouraging to T and I rate. review, leave a five star review, subscribe wherever you listen to your podcast, you don't miss an episode, and please share it with a friend. The more that the faithful agent community grows, the more believers we reach in this industry, the more that we hope the gospel spreads. And that's the goal of all that we do. So we hope that you will share that. And we appreciate those of you who are listening, who are leaving reviews, who are talking about it. Excuse me. It is a blessing to us and we hope this is a blessing to you. So T, before we get into this, Like last episode, I asked ChatGPT, tell me a really funny story about Christians. And I'm going to tell this to you. A man was stranded on a desert island. Don't laugh yet, I haven't even finished. I barely even started. Okay, are you okay? Okay, all right, here we go, here we go. A man was stranded on a desert island for years. One day, he saw a boat approaching. He ran to the shore, waving his arms. The boat finally reached him and a missionary stepped out. The man was ecstatic and said, thank the Lord you're here. I've been alone on this island for years. The missionary looked around and noticed three huts. Curious, he asked, if you've been alone, why are there three huts? The man pointed to the first hut and said, that's my home. He pointed to the second hut and said, that's my church. Then the missionary asked, and the third hut. The man shrugged and said, That's the church I used to go to. That's awesome. I feel like chat GPT is, maybe my prompts are getting better. That must be what it is. Or it's becoming more reformed. Is that possible? I don't know how any of this AI stuff works. Is it? I mean, yeah, I don't know either. Let's not have that discussion because neither you or I have a clue what's happening. And that's okay. Just like I said, if you don't love cold calling leads, That's okay. You don't have to do it. So the jokes, I wish there was a way. This has nothing to do with anything. I wish the joke somehow like tied into the conversation, but I don't know how to do that yet. Right? Wouldn't that be awesome if it was like, yeah, that third one is where I go when I'm being inauthentic. That, right? That's what it said. I should just make it up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. he's been stuck here because he's been so unauthentic and it's his authenticity and trusting the Lord and the way he made him is freeing him from this island of despair. Right. That that's what the story was about. Anyways, so let's talk about this, right? Because I'm teaching in this group of agents. And one of the things I share about, which I share about often is one of the challenges we have in this industry is we are encouraged highly, in my opinion, to put on a mask every single day. Everything's great. I'm super happy, look how successful I am, everything's amazing. It doesn't matter if you just had a tough morning with your kids, you better show up and be the happiest person in the world. Now I'm not advocating that you show up to everyone in your life and you're just like, life is really hard. That would not go very well in a sales job. But what I am advocating for, and here's the challenge is, and I wanna share with you this woman's response when I said this, I said the challenge though is I fear that... We've been so encouraged and accustomed to wearing a mask for everybody else that we still wear the mask to even our closest friends. And sometimes we even wear it to ourselves. And I asked them the question, when was the last time you even asked yourself, how do I feel right now? Right? We're in this industry where it's just, you got to be good. You got to be successful. You got to do X, Y, and Z, blah, blah, blah. So this woman says, and I think those kick us off and I'm going to throw it to you, too, but this woman. raises her hand. She's in, you know, she wants to share in us. So I say, yeah, please. And she's telling us about how she feels like as an agent that everyone around her thinks, that knows she's an agent, thinks she's making millions of dollars a year. She's showing gloriously beautiful homes. She doesn't have to work that much. She just gets to kind of do whatever she wants. She lives this perfect, amazing life. And so she said, she was telling us how she was at the gym and she's talking to a friend of hers. And she just looks at her friend, her friend asked her, you know, how are you doing? And she said, in that moment, I thought, man, I am not doing very well, but what am I supposed to say? So I feel like I should just tell her, everything's gone great, right? Whatever. And she said, but I actually told my friend, her friend's not in real estate, I actually told my friend, like, it's been really hard. Like it's a really challenging market. It's really challenging environment. All of these external pressures, right? Again, the... the reality of looking around at all the other agents, the comparison and all the stuff that's going on, the emotional toll that this job takes on top of everything happening in the market. And she literally just started crying, right, around her friend. And she, the reaction to me just sharing about this idea of a mask and the encouragement to say, hey, I'm not telling you to take your mask off to everybody, but I am telling you, and I'm telling myself, because I shared how I struggle with it. I am telling myself, sometimes you got to take it off to some people, right? And especially in our faithful Asian community, no one's going to be surprised if you're struggling or you're sitting or you've got a hard thing that's going on. We're not surprised by that, right? But we're just so used to, and it's inculcated to us. That's a good word T. They've inculcated in us. Thank you. That we should be wearing a mask and that's hard. And I think it lends itself to inauthentic action, inauthentic. expression of even what's going on in our own lives and man that's hard to that's hard to even maintain and I want agents everywhere to feel like you could just take a deep breath and it's okay to be you and it's okay to be who the Lord made you to be so there's a lot to unpack there to you but what do you think man? And a lot of different thoughts that's so true. I mean like I don't even know where to start but thinking about the idea of being authentic I mean think about the life of Christ like it to speak to you specifically and being happy all the time or putting on a front like you're ultra successful That's not that's not the life that Jesus lived I mean we're certain that we're called and all things that we do to become more and more like him I mean as you were talking I was actually because I don't this scripture memorized, but Romans 8 .28 jumped into my mind, and I know we've heard all that. It's the scripture that says, we know that in all things God works for the purpose, works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. And I think a lot of times that's a verse where believers will take out a context that believers have been called to something good, that He, because we know Him and we love Him, that He is working great things for us, that we are going to labor and that... We are entitled to good things. That's absolutely true. But where we fall short in that and continuing this message is for those God foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son. That is what the good things that the Lord has in store for those who have been called to His purpose. It's not to be successful. The good things that are in store to become more and more like Christ. So let's think about the times where Jesus wept. when Lazarus died and shared in that sorrow with people, where he rebuked people for not speaking truth or for utilizing God's Word for their own selfish ambition. Jesus was as authentic as anybody has ever been, and he wasn't happy all the time. He shared all the same emotions that we bear as image bearers of God. So... Why should we pretend like we have it all figured out? That's a lie. That is that sin. Thinking that that's what the the presentation of a believer should be or that's what the presentation of success should look like. That's not allowing people to see the image of Christ in our life by constantly acting like we have it all put together. That's not having a clean mirror and an understanding of that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. That's not a fundamental depiction of the gospel. And so, I think being authentic, now I say all that is hard, right? Like, that is truth and scripture points us to that, but that doesn't mean you just go out and do that. And that doesn't mean we wallow in our sin and our pain because we're called to endure for the sake of the gospel as well. And to not be lazy or defeated believers, we're called to keep going and to go forth. But I think it's just an interesting... position or certainly scripture to think about what it means to be authentic, right? Like what are the good things that are in store? Well, to be more like Christ, okay, well, what was Christ like? Let's look at all the anecdotes that we have and what are we actually trying to be like? That's authentic, right? Self -recognition of who we were created to be and how much we fall short apart from Christ, but praise God for the grace that He's given us in the spirit that lives inside us that hopefully we can just allow. to go before our flesh rather than trying to do the right thing. Why can't we just die to our flesh as we're called to, to pick up our crosses daily and go for it? That's really good that you took it in a direction I did not think and I but I really appreciate it right because you look at How do we have the freedom to be authentic it's that in Christ we've been Despite the sin and the struggle and all the things that we have were saved and we are set free from those things and they are covered by the life and death and resurrection of Christ so How come we have the freedom as believers to be authentic and we don't need to cover it up? Because Christ already knew and the Lord already knew everything, right? He's even aware of the sins that we're not aware of and yet He died for you, listener, in particular, and all of us in particular who are in Christ. He still died for us. So the one that matters, the opinion that matters is the Lord's. He already sees us and our truest authentic I hate to say that sounds too new -agey, right? But like he really understands every nuance about us and yet he says, I love you anyways and I choose you to be my child. Like that's why we have the freedom to be authentic. We don't need to hide from anybody because the Lord has already accepted us because of what Christ has done. And so I love that you took it that direction. And then absolutely the right point of when we think about what good things am I supposed to have? We mis -define. good things and what that actually is, right? And to your point, it's to be conformed to the image of Christ. And we will receive these great treasures. But when we hear that and when I hear that, we often think, well, that's going to be right here on earth. And it might be, the Lord might in His kindness do that. But that's not what the scripture is intending, right? It is this eternal home in heaven with the Lord. That's the good news. That's the good gift that we receive. And so we misunderstand those. And I think we think that if I, if I act authentically, I'm not going to get the things that I want here on earth. Right. And I think that's one of the challenges that we have again, and we live in an industry, we work in an industry, man, I'll tell you a quick story. So in 2018, I was part of Keller Williams and was for nine years before we moved to eXp. So part of Keller Williams and love Keller Williams. So many good things, so many good memories and experiences there. but I hired a Keller Williams coach. I had done 50 transactions three years in a row and I hired a Keller Williams coach and I told her and I really liked this lady, but I told her, here's the reason I hired you as a coach. I'm trying to figure out how do I work less time, right? I don't need to do more deals. How do I work less time? Because I want to spend more time with my wife, excuse me. And we had Hattie, our oldest at the time, that was it, hoping we'd have more kids. Excuse me. So we get on the phone and we're talking and she's a top producer and she says, well, Garrett, here's what success looks like in our industry. I literally remember this conversation. Success looks like this. You need to make 300 cold calls this week and you need to knock on a hundred doors. Now, mind you, I didn't show this. I had been a hundred percent referral, right? I'd never done that. Never needed to do that. Wasn't asking to do more business. Just wanted to do it in less time. That was my question. So anyways, we get on the phone the next week, T and. She says, Garrett, did you do your 300 calls? I said, no, I told you I wasn't going to. She said, did you knock on any doors? No, like that's not why I'm here. I told you I didn't want to do it. And I remember her literally saying, well, Garrett, then you're not going to be successful in this industry. And I'm sitting there thinking, first of all, and not a, not, you know, probably a private way because I am private, but I don't think it was, I was like, I already feel like I am successful. What do you mean? I mean, I'm doing 50 deals a year all by referral by myself. I feel like that's pretty successful, but I also didn't ask. for your definition of success, what you're trying to do is say, here's what a successful person does and looks like and copy and paste it onto my life. Well, that's not true. That's not how this works, right? And so we live in this industry that says, hey, I don't care if you don't like to cold call, you better get on the phones, right? Well, if that's not you, that doesn't even make sense. Like that's a recipe for burnout. First of all, to just try to be good at something that you weren't even made to do. That doesn't make any sense. the reality is we want, right, especially Christian agents, but really all agents to feel the freedom to say, Hey, if that's not who I was made to be, then I don't have to try to go be that. Right. It doesn't make any sense. I share this when I'm talking. If you're a fish, you should swim because that's what you were made to do. If you're a bird, you should fly. That's what you were made to do. But if a fish is trying to fly, well, that's not going to work. Well, that's what this industry is all about. Right. So there's freedom. in the goodness of God that as we talked about or as Pastor Hopper talked about at the conference team, I'm gonna throw it back to you, the reality of like on a football team, excuse me, or certainly in the body of Christ, right? But he used the football team. Not every person out on the field, 11 people on the field at a time on offense, let's say, the quarterback doesn't also have the same skill or job as the wide receiver. And the offensive lineman has a different role than the running back and they play different roles. They're different people. They look different, right? The size, all those things. And yet we think as, as agents, as business owners, that we should be able to do all things. So therefore we should go learn how to be excellent in all things. That's just not true. We weren't made to do that. Right. And so we tend to act inauthentically because we can't accept or we can't distance ourselves enough from industry standards to say, What you guys say is successful is not actually what it looks like. Therefore, I have the freedom to go act like who I am, who I was made to be and be excellent at that. What do you think? Yeah, I think that's right. And Pastor Hopper's example that he used in many reference being obviously in the body of Christ and you know the hand does what the hand does, the eye does what the eye does, that the hand can't be an eye and so on and so forth. And so really the path to being authentic is having a clear understanding of who you were created to be, the talents that the Lord's given you, the way that he's wired your heart, the way that he has... equipped you to satisfy the purpose that he has for you as his image bearer. And so that's really hard to look in the mirror and say, like, Lord, how did you make me? What gifts did you give me? How do I bear your image? What do I want to go out and do? I mean, you give a really tangible example of saying, you built your business on referral, and you've done that. Everything by referral. That's what you're passionate about. That's what... you're a relationship builder, that's how you've been successful in business, that's the way you have run it, then keep doing it that way. I mean, my personal story to use baseball as the example again, I think I've told this on the podcast before, was when I was trying to make my way to the ultimate goal of success and making the big leagues, I was looking at the people around me again, thinking, this guy looks like that, that guy looks like this, I'm gonna do that. I should wear my pants down, they're baggy, they walk on the field, they don't talk to their teammates, they're not fired up, they try to strike everybody out, they walk people. And just the language that they speak, well, those are the guys that are getting promoted. You know, I'm not getting promoted, so I need to provide for my family. So why don't I start trying to do what they are? Because I mean, I need to get to the major leagues to hit my goal and to be able to provide for my family because... I'm sleeping in closets and under dining room tables right now. Like I'll do whatever it takes to get there. and I was miserable and unsuccessful because I wasn't utilizing the talents or leaning into the way that I was made to speak specifically as a baseball player here. And so I wasn't enjoying, anything and I wasn't performing because I wasn't utilizing those giftings. And so my moment of clarity, I used a, The Lord used a worldly tool to reveal his wisdom to me. And I remember I was sitting in a host family. The host family that I stayed with and I was in AA and I was watching Frozen, the movie. And in that movie by myself, 23 year old grown man watching Frozen by himself in somebody else's house. Yeah, really? I was really crushing it. everyone who's ever made fun of me, there you go. Right. I don't think she knows that yet. I'll tell her and see what she thinks. Yeah. You're definitely not having five kids. That's for sure. the message, like the moral of that story was that the main character, she has a condition where the things that she touches freezes and you know, the people ostracize her and she runs away and the theme song that everybody knows is Let It Go and stop worrying about what other people think. Enjoy, you know, the gift in that particular moment that she had to craft all these beautiful ice sculptures and she built this ice palace or whatever. She let go what everybody, what the world defined as success and she leaned into the way that she was created. Now I think there's an underlying message that Disney's trying to teach there that we don't subscribe to, but for the sake of recognizing authenticity. I remember thinking like, I wear tight pants and I scream when I'm on the mound and I sprint all over the place and I yell and I have a great time and like, and that's the way that I was created as a baseball player. And from that day on, I committed to being exactly who I was created to be. And that's when my career took off. I started having a heck of a lot more fun. I started being way more successful. And now there's a lot more layers to the baseball story, but it's a great representation or image. of anything that we do professionally, having a very clean mirror to use one of my favorite images and the way that you were created and not necessarily caring about what the world defines as success or the archetypes of what you're supposed to look like and instead recognizing the way that you were created and fulfilling that because that's where you'll find more joy because you're seeing the Lord's handiwork in you. rather than trying to craft yourself into something that the world defines as successful, you're getting to see the Lord's hands at work. And then you're getting to enjoy like true actual giftings rather than trying to fabricate something. It's the ultimate square peg round hole scenario. And so, yeah. We just learned a lot about you screaming tight pants wearing frozen watching Tyler over here some still a man of God Yeah, I I love that you used fruit number one frozen as an example not not you know We can even ignore that well we can't ignore the fact you were watching by yourself But you know the fact that you use frozen, but also the fact that it was a good point You know both of those things are odd to me but that you make a point but that's about use for us into making excellent point about being authentic the way the word made you makes me want to sing that song i feel like we should just I mean, I feel like the audience wants that, but we're going to bring it back. Isn't that like circa 2013 that came out a long time ago? Yeah. Yeah. It's man. Yeah. Yeah. You can't justify that. Don't even don't even try to justify why 23 year old professional baseball players watching frozen with tears streaming down his eyes, having his heart broken open and him repenting. It was an epiphany. Yeah. right. That's awesome. Man, but it is a genuinely good point, right? Because one of the challenges I think we have, just as people in general, right, is we look and we say, I remember thinking this, right, as a kid, I played football for one year. I was a quarterback. We were terrible. But I'm short. I'm not tall in any stretch of the imagination. Even if you stretched me in your imagination, I'd still be short. And so... But I remember thinking like, man, I really want to play. I wanted to play college football for Virginia Tech. I wanted to be a quarterback and I didn't get any bigger. Right. And like, well, that's not fair. Like, why can't I just get bigger? I want to be taller. I want to have the option. Now I don't have the opportunity to do what I was supposed to do. Right. Because look how good I was at I wasn't good at playing quarterback, but look at the skills I have. Blah, blah, blah. And it's the reality of we just constantly look and say what the Lord created me for. And the way the Lord specifically gifted me can't be right. Right. When we don't act authentically, it's looking and saying, well, this can't be what I was supposed to be. Right. I must be something different. And that's we all fall prey to that. And that's what the industry is telling you. The way you are, the way you are made is not right. It is not good enough. It is not correct. Therefore, you need to fall in line to the image of whatever we tell you to be. And therefore, and then. and then only will you be successful. That's just not true. Like the Lord has called you very specifically to something very specific, right? He's made you very intentionally to do something intentional. And I don't know what that is, right? And Tyler doesn't know what that is. And we're trying to even figure that out and understand that for ourselves and our everyday life. But the reality is when we seek to understand, how did you make me? What did you make me to do Lord? Like how am I uniquely gifted? Well, you uniquely gifted me so I could use those particular skills. So how do I do that? And what do you want me to do with that? Right. And I think when we understand those things, and again, one of the ways that we act in honor of the Lord is to be authentic. One of the ways that we also, I think, attract people to the gospel is by being authentic. Right. I'll share another super quick story. So I'm speaking at this event. Lots of top, like I was shocked, honestly. In actual humility. I was amazed that I got invited to speak because these were big dogs, right people that I would like everybody knows who they are. I don't know why I'm here But I'll talk and I can be authentic right? That was basically my my pitch and so but I remember getting up or like going throughout the day in great content, right? But these are people who everything's awesome. They're crushing it. Things are great. Blah blah blah and I get up there And honestly, because in the Lord's kindness, I'm not afraid if people look at me like, well, that guy doesn't have together. Like, yeah, that's the point, right? Christ died for my sins. That's OK. I don't have to pretend that I'm something I'm not. And I get up there and I just talk about the struggles that I've been having recently, not like my sin struggles, right? But how hard it's been recently and how difficult of a market it is, how blah, blah, blah, X, Y and Z, how I deeply desire to. grow my business, but I really don't want to give up time with my wife and kids and how hard that is to do both, right? Just being super transparent because at the end of the day, I don't really care what they think about me, not in a negative way, but I want to be true to who the Lord made me and the scenarios that he's put me through because he didn't put me through those just to be like, ha ha, you had a hard season. He put me through them for his glory, right? He tells us that in scripture. And so my point is, What was really fascinating about that. And I honestly feel like I see this all the time because I go in there super transparent. Cause I, you know, I am super prideful. Y 'all know that. And this is not a silly thing. I hate that. and I am struggling with that and I wrestle with that. But in those scenarios, I genuinely seek. And I think in the Lord's kindness allows me to show up and say, dude, you're not that great. And that's okay because I am and I'm good and I'm great and I've saved you. And so when I show up and just be super transparent, it's amazing. The reaction. that the people in the audience have, right? They're like, thank you so much for sharing. I was feeling this way or, you know, all the conversations I have afterwards, whatever. Here's my point. It is so rare to see authenticity that it's attractive now. We want you and me and Tyler to be passionate disciple makers of Christ. And one of the best ways we do that is to be honest with what's going on and not try to pretend. that were something that were not, right? I love your point earlier, Teal, like I said, you took it in a different direction, that the reality of Christ's life is that he didn't walk around and everything was hunky -dory all day. That is not true. That's not even the example of the one who is the most authentic person that's ever walked this earth and ever will. And so I love that as an example. Faithful agents, be authentic, not only because that's how the Lord made you, but also because that is attractive to people for them to see that and hopefully, should the Lord in his mercy and kindness decide that that could be a moment where they're introduced to the gospel and the Lord changes their heart. That's what we desire, right? And I think that's honestly, and you take us out to, I think that's what authenticity offers us, right? Mm -hmm. Absolutely. I love that. I mean you can't be... How can you... how can you possibly honor the Lord if you're not acknowledging that the way that He's made you is for a purpose? Right? Like how... that is... that is so true. I've never thought about what that... how being authentic is truly honoring and pleasing to the Lord to submit to say that the way that you made me and being true to that is way more important than any type of public affirmation that I can get from the people around me. honoring your creation, which is exactly what I am, is more purposeful than anything that can be accomplished in this world. What a deep truth, man. That is part of the gospel. That is part of the way that the grace and mercy that the Lord has given us by telling us He loves us enough to come here and live a perfect, sinless life, die on the cross for our sins, defeat death and rise again on the third day so that we can be in eternal relationship with Him. And that is where hope can come from. I hope that... All of you faithful agents can be encouraged to be authentic as you go out today knowing that that truth is unchanging no matter what anybody else says about you and that's your purpose is so much greater than what's happening in your day -to -day right now. So we hope you're encouraged. Thanks for listening and we'll see you guys next time.