281 | Being Home isn't the Same as Being Present: 3 Ways Realtors of Faith Can Reclaim Attention and Focus at Home

Realtors of faith, this episode is your wake-up call: being home isn’t the same as being present. If you’ve ever felt guilty at work because you’re not with your family—and guilty at home because you’re thinking about work—this conversation was recorded with you in mind.

In this powerful episode of The Faithful Agent Podcast, we confront a hard truth many high performers avoid: success in business can quietly cost us the moments that matter most. For realtors of faith, the tension between ambition and alignment is real. You love serving clients. You feel called to excellence. But you also feel the weight of missed dinners, distracted conversations, and the subtle drift toward real estate agent burnout.

In This Episode, Realtors of Faith Will Discover:

1. Formation Requires Presence
Proverbs 22:6 reminds us that training a child is relational and repetitive. It cannot happen from a distracted posture. You can negotiate contracts remotely. You can write offers from home. But you cannot disciple your children from a distance. For realtors of faith, this truth reframes what “productive” really means.

2. Your Family Feels Where Your Mind Lives
Matthew 6:21 teaches that where your treasure is, your heart will be also. Your spouse and children don’t measure love in hours logged—they measure it in attention given. Even good, meaningful work can create emotional drift if your mind never leaves the transaction. This is where work-life balance becomes more than a buzzword—it becomes a spiritual discipline.

3. Good Work Must Fit Inside the Right Order
Joshua 24:15 declares, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” God never condemns diligence or excellence. But He does care about order. Your real estate agent purpose is not just to close deals—it’s to glorify God through the hierarchy of your attention: God first, spouse second, children third, business fourth. When that order flips, even noble ambition becomes costly.

For realtors of faith who feel stretched thin, this episode also offers practical, actionable steps:

• Ask yourself honestly: Who is getting the best of my attention right now?
• Build a transition ritual between work and home.
• Turn off your phone for one consistent hour each day.
• Set clear expectations with clients around availability.

These aren’t dramatic lifestyle overhauls. They are small, intentional shifts. And over time, they protect your peace and reduce the slow drift toward real estate agent burnout.

You’ll also hear how proven systems for real estate agents can actually serve your family—not compete with them. Structure in your business creates margin in your life. When your systems are strong, your presence at home can be stronger.

This conversation is especially for realtors of faith who are winning on paper but wrestling in private. The ones who love their calling but don’t want success to cost their soul. The ones who are asking deeper questions about legacy, alignment, and what real success

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Transcript

A friend of mine named Kevin crushed business. He funded ministries. He helped orphans all over the world. He did what most of us would call good, godly work. But years later, he said something that stopped me cold. He told his daughter, now a mom of four, that he wishes he could remember her at the age his granddaughter is now. Not just because he wasn't around, but because when he was, he wasn't really there. And his daughter said something even heavier. It was almost harder when he was home because we could see it in his eyes. We knew he wasn't actually mentally there. He was somewhere else. If you're a parent doing good work, providing well, but constantly feel the pull of your time and attention, you feel guilty when you're working because you're not home, and guilty when you're home because you're not working. Then this episode is for you. We're going to talk about three truths we all struggle with, and some simple, practical ways to reclaim our attention and presence at home without sacrificing our business success or income. Let's dive in. Do you want to grow your business and still be everything God has called you to be, but feel stuck in that constant work mode with no real balance? If so, you're in the right place. Hi, I'm Garrett, husband, data five and high producing Christian agent. I learned how to build a thriving real estate business without sacrificing my faith, my family, or myself. And now I'm here to share what actually works. So if you're ready for proven systems, smarter strategies, and a God honoring way forward, refill that coffee, dust off that Bible, and let's go. Hey, Christian agent, you already have a brokerage. But what if there was a better fit? One that cares not only about your commission check, but also your heart, your peace, and your presence at home? A brokerage that understands real success isn't just selling homes, it's pursuing excellence to the glory of God in every area of life. I'm looking for ten high producing Christian agents who are winning on paper, but feel the tension every day between being fully present at home and producing at work agents who are tired of building a business that cost them family dinners, spiritual alignment and peace agents who know their business has become way too loud and they're ready for God to be louder. We're building a brokerage organization grounded in biblical values with proven systems to help you scale without burnout, time saving strategies that protect your peace, world class coaching, and direct support from me to help you grow the right way, not just the fast way. So if you're a high performing agent who's succeeding but knows there has to be a healthier, more sustainable path forward, this isn't a sales call. It's a 20 minute conversation of discernment to see whether this could be a better fit for where God might be leading you next. If this is resonating, don't ignore it. Go to Faithful Agent Comm and grab a time that's faithful Agent and grab a time. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Faithful Agent Podcast. I am so glad that you've joined me once again today. We've got a pretty heavy topic, one that is challenging for many of us who are parents, many of us who struggle with big businesses but trying to be more present at home and the constant pool and struggle between those. And I hope that today, these three truths we're going to tackle, I hope that some of these small, practical ways that we can reclaim attention and focus at home will be a blessing to you. So I'm excited to get into today's topic. But before I do, as always, let me give you a Christian dad joke. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? His answer? Because your mother ate us out of house and home. That is so true. Okay. All right, well, let's talk about this. It's hard to transition from a joke to something more serious, but I do want to try to tackle a little bit today about the challenge of top producers, the challenge of the Christian parent who really wants to be present at home but feels that pull. A friend of mine told me what something that I shared right in the episode teaser, that he feels guilty when he's working because he's not home, and he feels guilty when he's home because he's not working. And I think a lot of us feel that way. So we're going to tackle three truths today, and then we're going to give you some ideas and see if maybe some of these will help. So truth number one formation requires presence. Suburbs 22 six says train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. Why does that matter to us as the high producing Christian agent? Because train up means it's relational, it's repetitive. It's not somebody who is distant. You can't train someone if you're just not there, right? Training implies time. It implies observation. It it implies correction and consistent correction. It implies modeling. And you cannot train from a distance or from a distracted posture. And let's be honest, and I get it. And I am right there with you. All right. I have struggled with this for years, and it's only now getting better and having gotten better in the past few years. But the reality is, one of the struggles that we face in our industry is how do I provide great service without being available? How do I provide for my family when I'm not constantly in work mode? How do I provide for my family without missing the important piano recital or soccer game? Because my client needs to see a house and I gotta make money. The biblical requirement for us is Proverbs 22. Like I said, train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it. And the reality is for us that does require us to physically and mentally be there so that we can actually do these things. You know, the the story I shared at the very beginning, my friend Kevin, he was an amazing and still is an incredible business owner, one of the best business owners I've ever met in my entire life. In fact, I had him coach me for about a year because he was just so brilliant. Not in the real estate space. He was in another space. But the reality is, here's a brilliant man. He was out there traveling to Russia in other countries and creating orphanages and serving and saving children, literally. But he didn't lack love or intention. He just lacked consistent, attentive presence, the kind of presence that training requires. And so here's his daughter, who's a friend of mine who says she wishes that her dad was home more. But even when he was home, she literally described to me that they could see it as kids. They could see when dad walked through the door, and she literally described it as this glassy look in his eyes. They knew that mentally, he wasn't there physically. Sure, mentally he wasn't there. I don't know about y'all, but I am totally guilty of that too. How many things are on our minds? How many client problems are in our heads? How many issues with negotiation or appraisals or home inspection repairs or whatever? How many times do we feel the stress, maybe to say, I need to get this closed because I haven't closed the deal in a month or two and I've got bills to pay, I gotta get this done. And yet our kids are like, hey, daddy, I want you to come play with me. The kids are, hey, something's going on, or my wife will come up to me and say, hey, I just need you to be aware that so-and-so, one of the kiddos, has had a tough day and I need you to talk to them. Well, I'm not going to be an effective, godly husband or parent in that moment. If I'm trying to talk to my daughter about the the things that she's been doing and what they mean, and how can she understand them from a biblical perspective, and how do we how do we obey and honor God in these moments? If my mind is thinking about my client who's considering writing an offer. I think the reality is for us, there are so many demands on our time. There are so many demands on our attention. There are so many demanding demands on our physical presence in this industry that we just have to be careful. We have to be careful to learn to say yes to the things that actually matter, and no to everything else. Because thankfully, we're also in an industry where provision can happen remotely. I could be at home writing an offer. I could be at home talking to a client and working through a problem with him. But formation never happens remotely. I need to be there. So what's the reality? For us, formation requires presence. Truth number one. In a struggle. Truth number two. Your family feels where your mind lives. Matthew 621 says, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I remember a quote. There's a famous American missionary, Jim Elliot. You may have seen the movie about him and he once said, or at least he is attributed with this quote, wherever you are, be all there. And I have heard variations of that. And I remember thinking so many times, If I'm there, be there wherever my feet are, be there. But I don't know about y'all. It is so easy for my mind to be somewhere completely different. It is sadly easy for me to be on date night with my wife, and my brain is somewhere completely different. It is really easy to be building Legos with my six year old son, and my mind is somewhere else. It is really easy for me to be going on family walk after my work day, and I'm talking to my wife and I'm throwing a football with my daughter. But my brain is still in the work that I had done for the day. And look, this is not stuff that I want to beat us up over. This is just the reality of the challenge that we face. I get it, and I think one of the hard parts that I found, and honestly, one of the reasons I started the Faithful Agent community is because I love the people in my church body. I absolutely adore them, but none of them fully understood the challenges that I was going through. And it was when I met others in our community that were godly and in real estate. And I thought to myself, gosh, for the first time, someone who knows my heart and understands my work and the dangers of the work that we do. Our family feels wherever our mind is. And if it's not there, they feel it. Kids don't really measure love in ours, right? They measure it in attention. They are aware, just like my friend. When your body is present but your mind is somewhere else. You know, it reminds me of my father in law story that my wife told me once, and he has since passed on. He was providing, working hard, showing up, doing what he thought was right. He was the first kid in his family to go to college, but he only went for a semester. He grew up in an abusive home, the oldest of five kids. They literally had to run away from his dad one time in a tough spot, and he worked hard. I mean, one of the hardest workers that I know, but I remember my wife telling me something, a story she remembers from her childhood. He would drive them to school every single day. But she said every single day he was on the phone, even driving them to school. Even when he's technically with them, his attention was somewhere else, and she didn't understand that he was providing. She didn't understand it was work or what he had to do. She didn't understand that all she knew was whatever is going on on the other side of the phone, dad's just not with me. So the danger for us, right? How many of us are guilty of you might be in the drop off line right now for school. Listening to this podcast with your kids in the backseat, and you just got off a phone call for work, and you spend 15 minutes driving to school and you said nothing to the kids. The danger, my friends, is our kids don't interpret intention. They interpret experience. We have to be aware. Where's my head? And we're going to give you some ideas here in a minute that hopefully will help. Final truth number three. Good work. Must fit inside the right order. Joshua 2415 says, but as for me, in my house we will serve the Lord. God never said, don't do good work. He said, don't do it out of order. We keep what we have and we build on it, but we put it in the right order. If you've listened to this show for any length of time, you've heard me talk about what I call the hierarchy of attention, and it's the framework that I try to live by, and I fail constantly, but I think it's a good framework and it's understanding what is the right biblical order for my attention, not necessarily time. Right? I know that I'm probably going to spend more time working than I do with my kids, but what is the right framework for who gets the best of my attention? And if you're married with kids like I am, it's this God first, then my wife or your spouse, then my kids, then the work that I do for provision. And then only after that. Anything else we believe the Lord wants us to do. That we have time for. We are in this industry. We have come to convince ourselves and believe that all things can be equal. I can do everything. I can, do all the things if I need to make dinner, if I need to pick up the kids, if I need to show houses, if I need to spend time with the Lord, if I need to exercise, if I need to manage my finances, if I need to go pick up groceries, if I need to get to the soccer game because I'm the coach, all those things I can do all those things all at once. Don't worry, I'm superhuman to look at me. But one of the truths that we have to face and and honestly, one of the beauties is that humans are finite every single night. At the end of the day, you and I gotta go to sleep. And that's not because the Lord made it so that we would be weak. It is a blessing and reminder of our dependence and need of him. Praise God that he doesn't sleep. It's a reminder that we are finite. We are not infinite as he is. We do not have unending attention, unending energy, unending ability, unending focus. And so if that's true, we've got to have a proper order. The Lord first, our spouse second, our kids. Third. The work that we do for provision. Fourth, what do I mean by that? I mean the work that actually makes you money. And then after that, if there's something on your heart, like my friend Kevin serving those orphans, which is such a good, godly thing, but not at the expense of his kids. If there was time after that, Lord, what do you want me to do with this time? If you're like me, though, I have five little kids. Eight, six, four, 2 in 6 months at the time of recording. So when I spend time with the Lord and I work out in the morning and I make them breakfast and I get ready for work, and then I go to work for the day. And then after the day we go on a family walk and then we have some family time. Maybe it's bass, or maybe it's recording another episode with my kids. We have a kid podcast called Nature Loving Kids. Maybe it's date night, maybe it's Bible study night, maybe it's family night. On Fridays, I spend time with them, and then when the kids finally go to town, I get to spend time with my wife. I don't really have extra time after that. And so if I tried to squeeze in, there's something else as much as I want to. I don't have time. I want to be clear here. The work that you're doing can be good. The calling can be real, but it has to fit inside the hierarchy, not replace it. Is your order right? I remember talking to my best buddy Tyler, who was the co-founder and the co-host of The Faithful Agent for a long time. I was talking to him during a season when life felt really overwhelming for both of us. It still kind of does. Honestly, we both have five little kids. We both feel the exhaustion and we both feel chaos everywhere. We're having a conversation about all the things that were involved in. I was the chairman of a local crisis pregnancy center for a long time, and that required a lot of attention for me. I was growing. The faithful agent community was growing. We had local groups sprouting up everywhere. I was writing a book. I had started a coaching company. I was still running my real estate business. I'd started an Amazon business. I was starting to get paid to speak. All of these things were happening. And Tyler was involved in so many things too. We're on the phone. He lives two hours away. We're on the phone and we just stop. I'm sitting outside a coffee shop and we just finally confessed to each other. I think we're maybe in the busiest season of our lives. And by that, I mean the time that our presence and attention is most needed. And so we gotta let some things go. So he and I left from there, held each other kind of well, we started getting out of things that we had committed to, and that was not fun. But we had to because the order was getting way out of whack. Right? This is a busy season for a lot of us, but busy doesn't mean careless, and it doesn't mean we abandon order. I think the hard truth is this. And I'll end with this before we go into practical application. I remember early on in my marriage, I was leading worship at our church, and it was church in a box. If anybody's done that, it was a a church plant. And so we'd get there early Sunday morning, we'd set up and after church Sunday we would tear down. And I loved it. I loved leading worship. And we were probably about six months into our marriage. And my wife Rachel finally says, it's really hard for me that we're married and we still never go to church together. And her point is, I'm there early, and then she comes to service. She leaves and I'm there late. And I remember asking my pastor at the time, Pastor Kevin, what do I do about this different Kevin? By the way, Pastor Kevin, what do I do about this? And what he said is something I will always remember. This is 13 years ago. He said, Garrett, the church can get another worship leader, but Rachel can't get another husband. Gosh, that's so true. And I think about that for us, my friends. Your client could go get another agent if they wanted to. Your company could hire another employee, but your kids can't get another mom or dad. Let's make sure that the order is right. All right. But now what do we do? Because I don't want to just leave you hanging and say, look at all the challenges that we face. But I do want to acknowledge the hard reality for those of us who are high producing Christian agents, who have hearts to not only have ambitious businesses that succeed at a high level, but also we want it all. We want to be great parents. We want to be healthy. We want to spend time with the Lord. We want to have a big business. It just feels impossible. And sometimes it is. I want to acknowledge all those things because those are real. And I get it. And I've been there and I'm there a lot of times to still. But let me give you some practical applications, a few things that have helped me that I think might help you. I'm going to give you four. First, I want you to ask yourself one honest question. Who is getting the best of my attention right now? Not the leftovers, the best. And if we're honest with ourselves, a lot of times the answer is our clients. We need to be aware of that. Number two, I want you to think about how do you build a transition ritual. By that, I mean maybe if you're coming home, you pause before entering the house and you take a deep breath or you you say a prayer, right? Maybe if you work upstairs like I do at home, then it's a pause and it's a quick prayer, or it's a pause and it's just a stop to give myself a transition moment that now when I show up, I can actually show up and say, I'm here. Now that sometimes if there's so many things in my head, I gotta sit there and journal and write it out so that it's out of my head and I can show up fully. One thing that I used to do a lot when I was out and about and I'd be coming home, is I remember always stopping. I'd stand at the door, I'd get out of the car, I'd stand at the side door before I went in, and I would just say, Lord, help me to bring calm to the chaos of my wife's day, because I knew that my day had been chaotic, but I knew her day had been chaotic. And if I brought in my stuff and I couldn't let it go, I wasn't going to come in there and be of service and a blessing to her. So, Lord, no, it didn't always work. Lord, let me bring calm to her chaos. Just a pause. Number three. This has been really helpful and I highly encourage. Turn off your phone for one hour a day. Turn it off. One hour a day. For me, it's 430 to 530. It's not forever. Don't do it dramatically right. Just to a consistently an hour of undistracted presence often does more than a whole evening of partial attention. Imagine if you're your spouse. Imagine if your kids imagine if your family could count on every day that you were going to show up fully between whatever hour 430 to 530. They knew it. You got me. There's nothing else that's going to distract me. And guess what? Friends, your business is not going to fall apart. Your life's not going to fall apart. Your clients aren't going to hate you. One hour. Turn off your phone. One hour a day, same time every day. Let everybody in your family know. And then finally set expectations with your clients. Just let them know when you're unavailable, right? You teach others how to respect what you value because presence requires boundaries, not just desire. So I used to always say, here's when I'm available in Wednesday nights. I'm not available past five because that's date night. And guess what my clients would say? Good for you. That's it. You set expectations for them. Right. Protect the things that matter. Don't pick up your phone first thing in the morning. Maybe grab your Bible. Don't check your phone. Last thing at night. Maybe shut it off. Put it away. Show your wife, show your husband and say, how was your day? Maybe turn it off for an hour and say, kids, mommy's gonna try every single day from 430 to 530, and I have my phone on. What do you guys want to do? Let's go for a walk. Let's play a game. I love you, Fayetteville agents. And I'm here with you. This is hard. It is hard. Living a good, godly life while running a good, godly business is really. There's some things we can do. But here's the truth. No matter how good our business is, no one's going to remember. They're going to remember the legacy and the time that we spent. The memories that we made with our family. You know, I'll end with this. And it's not to be morbid, but at my mom's funeral in October 2022, hundreds of people came. She was an incredible woman. But October 4th is the day that she passed away. October 4th, 2023 2024 2025. Again, we will do it in 2026. Who shows up at her graveside to remember her? It's my dad. It's me and my family. It's my brother and his family. It's nobody else. They're not there. And that's okay. I'm not mad. That's that's the way it's going to be. Are we trying to build something as if everyone's going to show up when we're gone? Or are we fully aware that what will matter is first and foremost, what is our relationship like with the Lord? And second, what is our relationship like with our families? Let's pursue that, friends. If this episode stirred something in you, I don't want you to rush past it. Awareness is an invitation. It's not a condemnation. Start small. One hour, one conversation, one time. Turning off your phone. One moment of full presence. Because the greatest work that most of us will ever do is forming the very people who call us mom or dad. That's what this is about. And my friends, if intentionally building a life in as much balance as you can. Building and succeeding in business without sacrificing your faith, your family, without sacrificing your presence at home. If that's what you want to do in this business. I am building an organization that is helping agents do exactly that, and I would be honored to walk alongside you in that journey and have you walk alongside me. Go to faithful agent. Schedule a breakthrough call. Let's hop on and have a conversation. Because at the end of the day, success that costs your family is far too expensive. I love you, faithful agents. I will see you next week. Hey Christian agent, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. If it resonated, would you take 30s and share it with another agent who's also trying to grow their business without losing their faith, family, or peace? That's how this message spreads. And if you haven't yet, hit that subscribe button so you don't miss future episodes. I release new ones each Thursday to help you build success that actually lasts. It genuinely fires me up knowing this podcast is helping you pursue excellence to the glory of God, both at work and at home. I'll meet you back here next week for another episode of The Faithful Agent.